Hey, thanks for your message(s?). I’m glad you like Andy. It’s true that Harley doesn’t always vent her frustration in the right direction. Andy features heavily in my upcoming series, The Low Voltage Cattle Prods, which is about Charlie and his band. The characters are 14+ in this one, so it has “mature” themes and immature jokes - if you see what I mean. Check back in the upcoming months if you’d like to know more!
Dillie xox (◕‿◕✿)
✿◕ ‿ ◕✿ Ohai, Anon! (｡◕‿◕｡)
I’m glad you like my work - it really means a lot when someone takes the time to tell me.
To be more like Devon, I suppose you could start by experimenting with new accessories and snacks that your friends would be scared to try. Remember to be sickeningly sweet to people, but also really opinionated (in a good way!). If you enjoy Devon’s antics, you might be interested in Karen McCombie’s character Rowan Love, who’s a big influence on Dev in canon. (That means that Devon mentions being a fan of Rowan in the series.)
As for your character suggestion, you’ll be pleased to hear that I already have a dyslexic girl in one of my upcoming series - but if you “can’t stop rambling”, maybe you should try writing too. I began at thirteen, and that was when I wrote the ABF series. It’s peasy once you get started - I promise!
I’d love to do talks one day if I get famous enough, but I don’t know if it will happen. Tell your friends that they can always ask questions on the website if they want to know about my books or life as an author.
Thanks for getting in touch,
Download the FREE series here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/byseries/1582
That just made me feel worse. My friends had so much faith in me as a good person that they’d reacted with the same calm and passivity as a fundamentalist who shrugged and smiled at tsunamis because “everything happens for a reason”.— Harley Hartley, A Bended Family #13: “The Fizzy-Blood Feeling”.
There’s clumsy, and then there’s a whole other plane of helplessness that he seems to fly around in like a baby bird that can’t use its wings properly.—
- Harley Hartley, A Bended Family #7: "Was He The Queen?!"
14 FREE EBOOKS HERE
"Rabbit People" taken from "Was He The Queen?!"
It was my turn to collect Kitty from school. Zak’s malaise of tiredness was apparently not enough to keep him from Monday football practise.
“Sarah’s mum’s giving away baby bunnies!” shouted Kit, the very second she set eyes on me. She was still a good six metres away, but I could hear her clear as a windscreen.
“Good for her,” I said, casually, when she’d got significantly nearer. If I ignored the request like it wasn’t a request, maybe she’d move on to something else.
“I told her we would have one, because we have so many aminals already.”
What logic was that?
“That means we’ve got enough.”
“It means one more won’t hurt,” she corrected.
“It means ask Mu-” I stopped in my tracks. Did I want to pass this conundrum onto my struggling mother? On one hand, she’d probably say no straight away and save me a week of bargaining – but on the other, she didn’t need to think about that while she had Charlie and the baby to worry about. Charlie had stayed home all day in shock, and I will admit that it annoyed the heck out of me, on account of the fact that there he was, completely physically healthy, allowed to watch toddler TV all day, while I was forced to tough it out at school with a tummyache that had the nerve to start half the way there.
“We have to go and get it now,” said Kitty. “Sarah’s mum’s expecting all the bunny people to come at half three, or she’ll be cross.”
So if we neglected to pick up this bunny, someone else would take it home…
“Someone else will have it; it’s not a problem.”
“No they won’t!” Kitty was wide-eyed at my nonchalance. “Sarah’s mum has got a list. If we don’t go, she will phone.”
Uh-oh. We would have to show up and let her down in person, because if we didn’t, it would be Mum’s problem after all.
Sarah’s house was thirty seconds from school, just metres down the cycle track and round the corner. Kitty had been to two of her birthday parties there.
Sellotaped to the glass pane of the front door was a notice that said “RABBIT PEOPLE KNOCK + WAIT. DOOR BELL NOT WORKING.”
I knocked, and we waited. Within moments, Sarah and her mother came up the path behind us and unlocked the door.
“Kitty. Rabbit?” said the mother, so sternly that it didn’t even sound like a question.
“Yes please,” said Kitty, as if the politeness had been forced out of her with a large hook.
Sarah stood in the hallway, smugly. I knew that she wasn’t one of the nicer girls in Kitty’s class, and I recalled her being a nasty piece of work right from Year R. She had medium-brown hair tied back so tightly that it looked like it hurt – the miniature saleswoman look I remembered from Junior Chantalle. She was leaning against the wall.
“SARAH, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!” screeched the mother. “DON’T! LEAN ON THE WALL!”
Don’t, lean on the wall. I could just picture that sentence structure running through Sarah’s mind. Her left eye twitched so hard that I noticed. She was probably contemplating answering back, but didn’t.
“Wait here; I’m getting the rabbit,” commanded the mother.
I wanted to say that we’d actually come to turn down her wonderful offer, but like Sarah, I couldn’t get the words out. Sarah’s mother returned with the rabbit. It was a full-sized one, mostly white with grey on top.
“Kitty told me it would be a baby…” I said bravely.
“It is a baby,” snapped the mother. “It is seven months old. Are you going to take it or what?”
Another question that didn’t sound like a question…
I held out my arms for the rabbit. It lay still as I cradled it, and I could see that its black-looking eyes in fact had a ring of amber for the iris. Sarah’s mother shut the door in our faces, and I had to walk home precariously balancing what looked to be a fully-grown rabbit, who fortunately seemed too lazy or stunned to try moving from its spot.
As Kitty and I agreed that a life in our crowded tumbledown house would be far better than having to stay at Sarah’s, I couldn’t help wondering what Mum and Harry were going to say…
"A BENDED FAMILY", 14 FREE EBOOKS - SERIES PAGE
"Chords" - taken from "Was He The Queen?!"
“Now who’s your drummer tonight? I’d like to see you tackle the guitar and singing and drums all at once.”
I don’t know why, but when you’re a twin, every time you can’t find a way to be a great big thunder-stealer, you have to be the one to point out their hugest, stupidest flaw at the last moment possible.
“Still Otter,” said Andy. “We think it’s going to be Otter for a while.”
“And can you actually play well enough to do other people’s songs?” I continued. I wasn’t just trying to antagonise – it would be mortifying for them to realise that one of the chords in “Walking Contradiction” was one of the chords they didn’t know… or, insert more accurate musician problem here.